Some deep thoughts
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to as well?
If animals are not meant to be eaten, why are they made of meat?
If 7-11 is open 365 days a year, 24 hours a day, why are there locks
on the door?
If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how does it stick to the frying
pan?
In countries where they don't eat chicken, what do they say food tastes
like?
If you used up all your sick days at work, would you have to call
in dead?
If you turn your computer monitor off, how do you know your screen
saver is still working?
What happened before gravity was discovered?
Why are there flotation devices under airplane seats instead of parachutes?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what would happen
when you turned on the headlights?
How does the man who drives the snow plough get to work in the morning?
Why do they have locks on cemetery gates?
When it is tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
How can postman Pat afford personalized number plates?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
What did people avoid things like before the plague?
How do you grow seedless fruit?
What do little birdies see when knocked unconscious?
Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my hard disk?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
People say 'There is an exception to every rule'. Why is there no
exception to that one?
Is reality just an illusion caused by the lack of alcohol?
If the world is spinning so quickly, why don't we all get dizzy?
What is so good about Columbus discovering America? It's so big, how
could he miss it?
Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food?
They say you can't take it with you when you go, but what if it really
wants to go with you?
Do they teach the law of Gravity at Law school?
What are we going to party like when it's 1999? 2099?
If Aliens existed, and they had technology far in advance of our own,
why would they be able to travel millions of light years across the
universe unharmed, and then crash?
If somebody with multiple personalities tried to commit suicide, is
it considered a hostage situation?
Why do you never get any good news from a letter with a window in
it?
If it wasn't for the last minute, would anything ever get done?
What do people in Greece say when they don't understand something?
Why should you fight fire with fire? Surely you should use water?
Why is it, whenever you get more help at work, you get less done?
Where does all the white go when the snow melts?
If a man stood in a forest, and he spoke with no woman around to hear
him, would he still be wrong?
If somebody paid you One pound for every word you said, and took fifty
pence away from you for every
bad word you said, would you be very rich, or very poor?
Why don't they make the entire plane out of the same material they
make the black box out of?
Are the three dimensions of a credit card length, width and debt?
Why does a cowboy wear two spurs? If one side of the horse goes, surely
the other side does too?
Does a man who has his feet on the ground find it difficult to get
his trousers on?
Why do they report power cuts on television?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, does it make a sound?
If Dolphins are so smart, why do they keep getting caught in tuna
nets?
Most books say our sun is a star. But how does it know how to change
back into a sun in the daytime?
If God created everything, who created God?
When you have two items to carry, why is the largest one always the
lightest?
Why do they give hurricanes names?
Who is the amateur cameraman that manages to get footage from all
the major disasters?
We all know the speed of light, but what is the speed of dark?
What would happen if they found and ancient burial ground underneath
a serial killers house?
Where is the 'any' key on my computer keyboard?
What do the Swiss army do with those knives?
How come pizza gets to your house quicker than the police do?
Is a friend somebody who knows you, but likes you anyway?
Does the fact that intelligent life from another planet has never
contacted us prove that it does exist?
If it isn't fun, why do it?
When you are sitting on the bus late for work, is everyone else on
that bus also late?
Is the art of diplomacy the ability to say 'nice doggy' until you
find a gun?
Star Wars starts 'A long time ago, in a galaxy far away...' - Yet
how come everything is so futuristic?
Why do aliens in sci-fi films always speak English, with an American
accent?
If life's a big joke, why don't I get it?
Under the sea, how come it's always the starfish that gets to be the
sheriff?
Is deep sea diving a very high pressure job?
If you use indoor fireworks, do you need to shut your pets outside?
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, would the best way to keep
the doctor away be to throw the
apple at him?
To be or not to be... Is that a trick question?
Why don't people on television ever go to the toilet?
Is the hardness of the butter proportional to the softness of the
bread?
Is the lottery a tax on people who are bad at math?
What was the dead sea like before it got ill?
Do hummingbirds hum because they don't know the words?
When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly content
and adorable, why do you
suddenly have to go to the bathroom?
If you put a chameleon in a mirrored box, what color would it be?
Why do they call them man-eating sharks? Don't they eat women too?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitos?
If a vampire can't see himself in a mirror, why is his hair always
so neat?
Why does your mind instantly go blank when you enter a grocery store
without a list?
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
With all the high-tech analysis being done these days, how can things
like Coca-Cola's secret formula
really stay secret?
Why is it that you always meet your boss on the stairs when you try
to sneak away from work early?
If crime doesn't pay, does that mean my job is a crime?
If you work in a paperless office, what do you do if you need to have
a shit?
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
Why is it that only adults have difficulty with childproof bottles?
Why is it that if you want to get something done you can either do
it yourself, hire someone to do it,
or forbid your kids to do it?
Why do we use our child's full name when we are angry at them?
Is the only reason we give our children middle names so that they
can tell when they are really in trouble?
Where do socks go when they get lost in the dryer?
When trying on clothing from the closet that feels tight, why does
a woman assume she has gained
weight, while men assume the clothing has shrunk?
How did Columbus "discover" America if there were already people here?
On a school exam that asks for your opinion, how is it possible to
get an 'F'?
Does fake fur come from stuffed animal toys?
Who would win if the Energizer Rabbit and the Road Runner ever got
into a fight?
How can Smurfs always run around in white socks , but never get grass
stains?
There are the toilets on the U.S.S. Enterprise?
How come the TV fishing shows never focus on the most important boat
fishing skill, pissing off the
back of the boat after all those beers?
Why does a necessary item go on sale only after you have purchased
it at the regular price?
Why is it that nothing in the known universe travels faster than a
bad check?
If you made wine out of raisins would you have to wait for it to age?
What would happen if you put instant coffee in a microwave? Would
you go back in time?
How long do you have to wait, after shaking a can of cola, before
you can safely open it?
How do they get the seeds out of seedless watermelon?
If carrots develop better eyesight, how come you always see so many
dead rabbits on the side of the road?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes
that something new to eat will
have materialized?
If organized crime makes lots of money, why not let them run the government?
If politicians are not crooks, why do they get diplomatic immunity?
If a person could never hear nor see, so they have never learned a
language, how do they think? And
what language do they think in?
Why do they always let dyslexics write on the front of ambulances?
Why do ambulances always have "ECNALUBMA" written on the hood?
Will we all die from drinking water? Since the day humans were first
on the Earth, most who drank it
have died.
Why is paper always strongest at the perforations?
If you turn on the light quickly enough, can you see what the dark
looks like?
Why don't they have a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence?
There's a knob called `brightness',
but it doesn't work.
Why does a knife that is too blunt to cut anything else always cut
your finger?
Why do mattresses have springs, if they aren't made for jumping on?
Does how long a minute lasts, depend on which side of the bathroom
door you're on?
Why is it that the most difficult light bulb to replace burns out
first and most frequently?
How do they get the "Do not walk on grass" signs way out in the middle
of the grass?
Why is it that when ever you are using an electric lawnmower, the
extension cord you are using is
never long enough to get that last little bit?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
vacuum cleaner, reach down, pick
it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more
chance?
What happens if you put a slinky spring on an escalator?
What happens if you Xerox a mirror?
A mirror inverts everything left to right. Why doesn't it invert top
to bottom as well?
Why are haunted houses never locked?
In court, why do they ask if you swear to tell the truth? If you're
planning on lying, do they really
think you'll tell them so?
Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
Why is dyslexic so hard to spell?
Why is it so hard to remember how to spell mnemonic?
Where do swear words come from?
Is it a coincidence that the only 15 letter word that can be spelled
without repeating a letter
is uncopyrightable?
Why can't you make another word using all the letters in "anagram"?
Why don't we say "why" instead of "how come"?
"I am." is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
Could it be that "I Do." is the
longest sentence?
Is it still an ECHO if you don't hear it the first time?
If a martial artist stuck their hands in their pockets, could they
be arrested for carrying a
concealed weapon?
Is it true that the reason bagpipe players walk while they play is
that they are trying to get away from
the noise?
Has anyone else noticed that in all cases of reported UFO sightings,
the aliens were all in the
medical profession? How come we never hear of a reported sighting
of an alien plumber?
If a lawyer and a politician agent were both drowning, and you could
only save one of them, would you
go to lunch or read the paper?
If a fire fighter fights fire, and a crime fighter fights crime, what
does a freedom fighter fight?
Why is a jack-of-all-trades usually unemployed in all of them?
With all these Environmentalists Saving The Whales, do any of them
have the whole set?
When standing in a long queue, why do we feel so much better when
somebody comes and stands
behind us?
Are people more violently opposed to fur rather than leather because
it's much easier to harass rich
women than motorcycle gangs?
Why is it that after setting something down for twenty seconds, we
can never seem to find it?
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars
in the universe you will believe them,
but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it
to be sure?
Why is it that when you see people whispering, you can always hear
your name loud and clear?
Why is it always the one who snores that falls asleep first?
Why do men forget everything and women remember everything?
Why can't women leave the lid up?
If women are so independent, why do they go to the ladies room in
pairs?
Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?
If Milli Vanilli falls in the forest, does someone else make a sound?
If only the good die young then what does that say about senior citizens?
If we encountered an alien species as intelligent as we are, how would
we recognize it?
If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?
If two wrongs don't make a right, why not try three?
How come, after all these years, we do not know how much wood could
a woodchuck chuck if a
woodchuck could chuck wood?
Relatively speaking, aren't we are all related?
If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going
wrong?
Why is it that whenever you let the cat out of the bag, you usually
wind up in the dog house?
If you don't care where you are, can you get lost?
Does the fact that evil is live spelled backwards mean anything?
Why is it that almost anything is easier to get into than out of?
Why is it you never see the headline... "PSYCHIC WINS LOTTERY"?
Did Noah put woodworm into the Ark? And if so, how did it get there
in one piece?
Why did Noah only allow two of every other kind of animal except humans?
Was this the first discrimination?
Is it true that God must be a man because a woman wouldn't have invented
dirt?
When you're in space, which way is up?
If the universe is infinite, does that mean the average population
is zero?
Since the world is spinning and we feel still, if the world were still
would we feel like we were spinning?
Why do objects always seem to collide in outer space, when everything
out there is so far apart?
If you break the laws of Physics, do you go to jail?
Why did they stop building the pyramids?
Where are the four corners of the world?
Do Viruses ever get sick?
Why does the phone always ring when you're on the toilet?
What does it mean when the marvels of today's modern technology include
the development of a soft
drink can, that when discarded will last forever but a £10,000 car
which, when properly cared for, will
rust out in two or three years?
If Alexander Graham Bell had had a daughter, would he have invented
the telephone?
Can you call someone on the other side of the international date line
and get tomorrow's winning
lottery numbers?
What time is it on the MIR space station?
If you travel to the North Pole, what time do you set your watch at?
There are 365 days in a year, yet there are 52 weeks consisting of
7 days each, which equals 364
days. Where does that extra day go?
When you travel west, you gain an hour every time you cross a time
zone. If you traveled far enough
and fast enough, would you travel back in time?
Why is it that you can't remember the time when asked five seconds
after you've looked at your watch?
What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
Why do they call it the "black-box" when it's bright orange?
If you replaced the headlights in your car with strobe lights, would
it look like you were the only
one moving?
If you are traveling faster than the speed of light, would you have
a shadow?
During an earthquake, are drunks the only people who can walk straight?
Why is it that when we were kids the snow in winter was much deeper?
Why is it that when you have an umbrella with you, it doesn't rain,
but if you don't have one, then
it normally does?
Who puts those "Thin Ice" signs out there?
If a tree falls in the woods and there is no one around to hear it,
do the other trees laugh at it?
In life, why are there so many questions?
